Rest for Our Souls

Real or Imagined, it Seems Real

Our lives are filled with occasions to worry and fear. It seems like every advertisement, every news headline, and many conversations with coworkers and/or friends give us reason to feel a sense of unrest. Maybe the reason is real and legitimate. Maybe they are just our imagination fighting against us.

A Sovereign Invitation To Rest

But, Jesus’ invitation to relationship is also an invitation out from the unrest of fear and anxiety. Jesus is not inviting us to ignore what is real and legitimate for some sort of false rest. Jesus is inviting us to look at things as they really are…and to see who he really is. His promise to us is that his rest is deeper (and more real) than the fear, hopelessness, and anxiety that overwhelm us.

A Promise to Remember

Even if you are like me and don’t live in his rest in every detail of your life, remember that Jesus’ offer of rest is there for you. Right now. For even the deepest unrest.

Matthew 11:28–30

[28] Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Resolved

New Year’s Resolutions
I (Wes) am not a guy who is known for New Year’s resolutions. Maybe I am lazy or maybe I just know that my resolve may run out after a couple of weeks, but I don’t give much thought to resolutions at all.

You are probably like me and don’t need another self imposed task to put on your mental to do list. Many times, all those things tend to do are remind us that we aren’t as put together as we think we should be.

Everyday Resolves

But, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have resolve. We resolve to wake up most days and do the little things we have to do to manage our lives. We resolve to put on deodorant (right?) and do the work we need to do that day. We resolve to pay our bills. We resolve to make sure we don’t drive the people around us crazy…or let them drive us crazy. Maybe we even resolve to read the Bible some and pray a little.

As important as each of those things is, they seem mundane, nothing profound. Nothing world changing, right?

God-Given Resolve

in 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, Paul prays for his friends that God would “make [them] worthy of His calling and would fulfill every resolve for good…by his power.” That is my heart for you too…that the Lord would fulfill every God-given desire- for good- that you hold on to. No, he won’t fulfill everything we desire, but he loves to fulfill everything he places in our hearts for good!

So consider these things with me:

• What are you resolved to do?

• What are those things that are good that you have some inner determination to accomplish?

• What are those things (mundane or not) that you are resolved to do that will only be fulfilled through a simple trust in Jesus and his power? (as opposed to a determined trust in ourself and our power)

2 Thessalonians 1:11–12

[11] To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, [12] so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (ESV)

Uvalde, Texas: Not My Justice, but Yours Be Done

How Much Do We Tell Our Kids?

I debated whether we should have the conversation or not, but I just had a conversation with our 4th grader about the people killed in Uvalde, Texas. Should I start the conversation? Would it scare her needlessly? Can she process it in a healthy way?

The (Grievous) Reality of the World

What pushed me over the edge was the thought that this is the reality of the world. As much as we want to talk about how things “should” be and how legislation should change our behavior, people like the shooter still express evil in ways that end some lives way too soon and change the trajectory of the lives of the people who loved them.

Misplaced Compassion

We live in an over-polite area in which most people want to think that all people are good, deep down. We try to attribute failures and mistakes as being other people’s (or society’s) fault. It is seen as compassionate to say” Well, he must have had a bad home life.” But, that “compassion” is misplaced and misjudging both the situation and the human heart. Maybe he had mental health issues (how could he not have mental health issues to be able to act out this violence?), but he is more than his mental health issues. Misplaced compassion says “It was bad, but it was all about his upbringing?!” Compassion says: his upbringing plays into it, but this was also the overflow of his heart.

Jesus said that “out of the heart comes…murders…” (Matthew 15:19)

I know that what I am saying seems judgmental at first. “Who are you, Wes, to be able to say these things?” But, I say them because I know who I am apart from Jesus rescuing me. I know I am capable of destructive evil. Maybe it isn’t as overt as the murder of children and teachers, but it is just as real. I can have the type of compassion on the man who acted out his base desires because I know that I have those same base desires. Jesus’ compassion is not compassion that tries to see a person in the very best light, but real compassion cares for a person even when seeing that person for who they truly, deeply are.

My Anger: Empathetic and Destructive

In the conversation, I teared up. My daughter could have been in that classroom. She could have felt the fear of seeing someone who had no empathy for her life point a gun at her and pull the trigger. The last moments of her life could have been fear…wishing someone could come rescue her. Those thoughts happened in many children that day. Those children’s parents feel not only the emptiness of profound loss of their child, but also the shame and guilt of not being able to be there when their child needed help. Both are permanent.

As I considered those things, anger welled up in me. Anger that it happened. Angered at the helplessness of those whose lives ended on what should have been an ordinary school day. Angered at a boy whose willful, selfish impulses started a cascade of fear, then profound grief.

My child was not affected, but I wanted to hurt the shooter. If my 4th grader’s life was taken from her I would want to take something from him. Yes, I know it wouldn’t bring her back. My desire isn’t redemptive- making something good out of a bad situation. It would only add to the destruction, but at least a small sense of justice would be fulfilled. 

At the very least, I would want him brought to trial and punished. I would want him to get what he deserves. But, even that, was taken from the families. His life ended in that classroom after a heroic border patrol agent rushed in to keep the boy* from taking more lives. I am glad the agent saved more lives. I, selfishly, wanted to see the boy’s punishment.

We Want Hell to be Real. No, Really, We Do.

Reading people’s responses to the tragedy on Twitter the night the shooting happened, I noticed at least two common responses in people’s posts. The first, how many times people used strong, crass language towards people on the other side of the “debate.” (Why are we trying to gain political internet points when children are killed?) The second, that many people used the phrase “go to hell.” 

Oh, I am sure they have not give the existence of a personal, eternal place of judgment much thought, but I would imagine that they would be okay for Hell to exist long enough for certain people to fall into it and then close up and disappear for people like themselves…the “righteous” people.

I read somewhere that the idea of “hell” has fallen out of favor in places in which are relatively safe. As a friend from the Balkan region of Europe recently reminded me, if you don’t feel the consistent fear of a neighboring country’s army standing at your doorstep, ready to invade your homeland, then you live in a “safe” country. We live in a relatively safe part of the world, all things considered. Hell is not palatable because there is seemingly no need for it. 

But, the idea of “hell” is very real to those who have seen atrocities and experienced deep fear that comes from an oppressor staring at you with malice and cold indifference.

Though I am not writing this to debate the whether or not “hell” is real (though I believe it is), the point is that- after events like these- we want hell to be real.

Not My Justice, But God’s Judgment

As I talked to my 4th grader, I told her that it doesn’t seem fair that he “got away with it.” From the survivors’ perspective, he took lives and doesn’t have to pay a debt to the society he pained.

But then I said something I rarely say…something that is the only solace that some people might have after events like this: that “boy” closed his eyes in death, then opened his eyes to see his Creator face to face. Unless he entrusted himself to Jesus at some point, that boy opened his eyes to the reality that our God is a righteous judge. A judge who is not judgy, but sees all sides, sees all actions, sees the boy’s heart and will make a wise judgment.

Getting What is Deserved

At this point, you might be like me, outrage fills my thoughts. He needs to get what he deserves…and what he deserves is more than death. His death is not enough to bring the scales of justice to balance. His death does not justify the deaths of so many. We feel that it is not fair that he “gets off easy.”

If this boy did not entrust himself to Jesus (and the overflow of his heart that shows in his actions leads me to think he was not a follower of Jesus), then Jesus’ death does not cover this person’s sins. He died “in his sin” with only the righteous judgment of God to look forward to. In other words, his eternity will be filled with only the just payment that his heart and actions deserve.

My daughter asked me a hard question. It was a question that stretched my belief in the meaning of Jesus’ death: “Would he go to heaven, daddy?” Everything in me wanted to say “Nooooo! No way! That could not happen! That would be unjust!”

I say “No one is beyond God’s mercy.” That feels nice when it comes to sin that doesn’t steal what is precious to me away from me. If that boy took my child’s life, and then “put his faith in Jesus” I would want justice. I would want ultimate, never ending judgment for him. I would want the full wrath that God could pour out on him to be poured out on him. “Don’t hold anything back!!” would be my cry.

But, that is not how God works. Anyone (frustratingly) anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Anyone whose authentic faith leads to repentance is welcomed into relationship with Jesus. Anyone.

But, I don’t like that right now. It is too easy. It makes God seem unjust. It makes me think that all of the ways we are “let off” are unjust…just not as unjust as letting off a premeditated murder of children might be.

A Rich Mercy

So that is what I wrestle with tonight. No one who has ever come to Jesus in faith deserved the goodness they have received from him. The mercy I have received (and continue to receive) seems unjust. 

But, what if it were true? 

If the shooter woke up in eternity to see that God is not “for” him, that would make sense to all of us. What is hard to believe is that someone like him (and someone like me) might wake up in eternity after death and find that I was fully accepted, even welcomed. That the just and unquenchable wrath that I should have fully absorbed was taken by Jesus on the cross.

I believe that is true. It is harder to believe in some cases than others. In the case of the Uvalde school shooter, I don’t want that kind of mercy to even be available to him.

But, if God’s mercy is only rich enough to save the “minor” sinners, then what kind of mercy is it? If Jesus’ death only paid the penalty for the “middle class” and “blasé“ mistakes we make, then it is not the kind of mercy we could ever rely on.

I am grateful that God’s mercy is different- richer- than my own.

There are still many more questions that I have. There are many that will be left unanswered. But, what I rely on now as I deal with waves of fear of losing my own daughter in a similar way -and waves of realization that I still need to be rescued from myself- is that I need to be able to look upwards and forwards and say that, though things are profoundly wrong now, there will be a day when Jesus makes all things right again according to his love and best wisdom

Make it soon, Lord Jesus.

*The shooter was 18 and legally an adult. It might be appropriate to call him a “man.” But I chose “boy” because a man does not use his strength and power to hurt people who are defenseless. The 18 year old recklessly ran into a school of vulnerable people and used his power to destroy them. A border patrol agent ran into the school- at great risk of his own life- and stopped the shooter to protect other’s lives. A man uses his strength and freedom to build up, protect, and nourish those around him. The shooter’s actions are the definition of “toxic masculinity.” God’s version of manhood looks very much like Jesus’, willingly (and even joyfully!) sacrificing himself to for the good of others. The shooter will forever be a “boy” in the eyes of most people.

A Different Kind of Fierce

I just spent four minutes of my life on Youtube watching a "Rocky Tribute" video. The soundtrack behind the video is a song by Survivor called "Eye of The Tiger." It is the type of song that would be played in a team's locker room to motivate them before a big game. After listening to the song, I am ready to do battle! (What that battle is, I am not sure yet)

Maybe your "toxic masculinity" alarm just went off. Maybe you are a little concerned for me. I will have to admit, it startles me a little to want to so easily fight in some way. I should pay attention to that.

But, maybe the desire to fight that we have is not merely something to be concerned about. Maybe the concern is how we might use it. Is our desire to be fierce used to inflict pain on others and get our way, or is the desire used to be fierce on behalf of others...for their good?

The bible never describes Jesus as "fierce," but it describes him as confidently confronting those who were. (see Matthew 8:28 and following) There is a fierceness about Jesus that is unlike ours.

Ours often manifests as "flipping our lid" when we don't get our way in a manner that wounds others. Ours often manifests as harsh words spoken about another in a way they could never respond.  (Think about every "Twitter fight")

Jesus' fierceness is not destructive, but redemptive. He has the weightiness of presence (not to mention his power to do what he wants) that could overwhelm and destroy. But his fierceness creates...even if he has to turn over some tables to create something good in our lives.

Best of all, Jesus doesn't need to get "pumped up" before he shows his loving strength. His kind of love overflows in to creative fierceness that every person needs...even if we don't want it.

Would you consider one question with me: how do you respond to the idea that Jesus is "fierce"? is it true? Is that good? Is that safe?

May our Lord and Savior show you the fullness of his character to you and hold you near to him in the fierceness of his heart.

Always Wanted

I was hesitant as we started our first adoption process (the process that eventually led to our 10 year old being in our family) There are the normal questions like "how are we going to pay for this?" and "is this what is best for our family?" All I had, then, were questions and fears. The beautiful future we have had with our oldest was just that- in the future. Unknown. Scary.

When did my reluctance really come from, though?

There was something I deeply believed that I wouldn't admit to myself (or anyone else) because I was afraid to admit it. Are you ready to hear this? I'm not sure I am ready to type it even now, but here it goes: I deeply believed that adoption was a consolation prize...that God was holding back "better" and giving us "good." That was really why I was hesitant.

It seems strange and foolish to me now to consider that I thought that, but I did. And, frankly, I think most people do. The following phrases are hints as to why I think most people think of adoption as something less than the "normal" way to start a family.

• "Is she your real daughter?" (The answer is: YES!!!! See the exclamation points?)

• "Was she given up by her real parents?" (So much to say here, but our daughters were always wanted, never given up)

• "Do you miss having children of your own?" (I know what someone means when they say this but these girls are as much our children as any child could possibly be! They are children of our own.)

"So how did start to see things differently?" you might ask. The honest answer: the passage we will talk about Sunday evening. Those of us who have trusted Jesus have been "adopted as sons" into the family of the Father. When the Spirit chose to use a metaphor on how we come into a new family, he inspired Paul to use adoption to describe what the Father did to (wholeheartedly) bring us home.

That changed me. I was adopted. Everyone who is in the family of the Father was adopted. (Notice my language here...the verb tense is important) We could not possibly be more children of God our Father. There is nothing more. Fully family. Finally, his own.

When I look at my precious girls there is no doubt in my mind I wouldn't love them more if they came in our family by another way. Not possible. And my love for them is a poor reflection of the love from a perfect Father.

Oneness

I have been reading John 17 over and over. Sometimes quietly and sometimes out loud to keep my attention focused. I am not sure why I am doing it, honestly. Maybe I am a slow learner and need to slow down to soak it in.

Probably, though, it may be because I feel like I need to be taught to pray. I don't need to be taught how to speak...I have been doing that for years. I need to be taught how to pray.

Part of that, is not just Jesus' words as he prayed that evening, but that unexplainable quality of his prayer: he was relating to the Father. It was the overflow of their relationship. The text uses the metaphor of "oneness," and as I read Jesus' prayer, I get a sense of that oneness.

What I want to explore with you is the truth that Jesus prays about that oneness and says it is not just for himself and the Father. It is also for us with the Father. To go one step further, it is also for us with the Father and with each other! That's too much for me to process.

Instead of trying to figure it out, how about I invite you to pray with me? Instead of analyzing it (alone), let's pray like that together...

John 17:22–23: The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (ESV)

Can We Trust God's Judgment?

Going to court is almost never a good thing, and my attorney friend had to do it regularly. He told me that his preparation for the trial always needed to be about the facts in the case, but he also needed to prep for what the judge might have for lunch that day.

The judge's mood might affect the verdict in the case.

That sounds strange to us because we hope that those who hold a position on the bench would be impartial and make wise judgments based on facts alone. But our history has shown that judges are just as fallible as any of us and an over-spicy Thai lunch could affect the way the judge thinks about the persons in a trial.

What if our way of life (or life itself) was in the hands of a judge who makes decisions based on his Pepto Bismol needing-gut?

When we think of God as a judge there may be a sense of dread or fear or foreboding that comes with that. "Father" is easier- even "King" is easier- but "Judge" is hard. It is easy to think of God's judgment as only being a gavel coming down hard to condemn and punish.

But the real reason why God being our judge is hard is because he gets the ultimate decision and he has the ultimate authority in our lives. What he decides stands. No court of appeals. His judgment is final.

If he has final say in all matters of our lives then we have to ask the question: "is he a good judge"? Is he a wise judge? Does he know what he’s doing? Is there anyway his judgment can be gracious?

When I comes down to it the question is: "are there enough facts about the heart of our Judge that we can trust him"?

Or does what he had for lunch change his mood and, therefore, the course in destiny of our lives?

Join us Sunday evening as we look into the heart of God as we read (and discuss) his Word together from James chapter 5 verses 1-11.

What we will find in God’s self-revelation is more than we expect of him and better than we would have imagined on our own.

Humble Ourselves How?

1 Peter 5:6–7

[6] Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, [7] casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 

I want you to notice something. Peter (like James!) says "humble yourselves." That sounds great, but how?

The answer is in the text: "[by] casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." No, the word "by" isn't in the original language, but the meaning is there in a way that doesn't translate well.

We humble ourselves by repenting of trying to fix our fears, carry our anxieties, and make up for our failures. The Father's invitation to humble ourselves is to focus our attention on how he cares for us in such a way that frees us to cast our cares on him...to let go of our striving and rest in his care.

That is one reason why we plan to gather Thursday to pray: to help each other cast our cares upon a Father whose shoulders are strong enough to carry the burden and whose arms are strong enough to carry us.

"Return to Me..."

Take a moment and stop. Don't try to get through this post fast. You may be like me and need to stop the feverish hurry, the insatiable desire to accomplish the next thing.

Stop right now and pray with me.

Take a deep breath. Don't search for the right words or try to stir up "spiritual" feelings. Just pray a simple prayer with me:

"I am Yours. All that is in me is yours. All that I possess is yours."

I would start wringing my hands, wondering if I meant it...or prayed "hard" enough for the Father to hear. He can hear. He wants to hear. He leans in to listen and can wade through the murkiness of our motives.

One more thing: read a passage with me. Here you go...

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Joel 2:12-13 (NIV)

Would you read it again? This time out loud. This time, savoring the words.

Now, one more time, but only read until something arrests you. Stop there and don't move on. Ask the Father questions about it. Write it down and take it with you where you go today.

Let God's Spirit tend the soil of your soul to be ready for what he is going to plant from his Word.

Finally, would you pray for others? Someone or someones who the Lord brings to your attention. Just a simple prayer that the Spirit will have his good, pleasing, and perfect way with them.

We will be amazed at how He will take our puny efforts and make beautiful things out of the people that He loves.

"Rely On"

"We are going to sue you"

Those words grabbed my attention and for weeks it was as if my body was flooded with anxiety. I made a big mistake in that 7th grade class, trying to make others laugh. It went WAY too far, though, and I regretted it the moment she fell.

One of my classmates- an 8th grader- stood up. I decided on a whim to move her chair from its place- the chair that she was relying on to be there. I moved it knowing that she would expect it to be there. I moved it knowing she would probably fall.

I thought we would all laugh, but I was very wrong. She fell hard- and it hurt her. No one laughed.

Even as I type I feel a twinge of the guilt I felt that day as she tearfully went to the nurses' office. In some way I still wonder if she will make good on her promise of tracking me down to sue me.

She was relying on that chair to be there. She was ultimately okay, but it reminds me that there is a sense of risk in being around a 7th grade boy and risk in relying on anything. A chair. A financial investment. A loved one. We have a hard time relying on anything or anyone because we know deep down that they could possibly let us fall when we rely on them.

We still need someone to rely on though. We can't survive without trusting someone or something. It may be risky, but we do rely on someone.

It is usually ourselves. Sometimes it is out of fear ("I can't trust anyone again. They will only let me down...again.") Sometimes it is out of defiance ("If I rely on someone else it wont turn out the way I KNOW it should.") But, when we ultimately rely on ourselves and our way of thinking, we live a life of selfish, defiant, fear.

That is what we will focus on tomorrow night: we can rely on a trust-worthy Father. Our Father knows what we need. He knows we need to rely on him. He also knows that we don't want to. Maybe, we don't even have the ability to rely on him.

He also knows that he can prove our selfish fears wrong. He wants to show us that we can entrust those things that matter most to him...that he won't pull the chair out from under us like so many have in the past.

The War is Personal

Praying is personal. Praying is also warfare.

There is the real warfare against spiritual forces of evil who want to destroy our faith and keep other people from entrusting themselves to Jesus. (see Ephesians 6:10-12) But, what I mean is the very real warfare that is in our own souls. The personal warfare. The battle we face between our selfish desires and our desire to know God, personally.

When I feel that battle in me I go to Matthew 6. Right before Jesus gives us his model prayer ("Our Father who is in heaven...") he gives us a warning and a promise about praying:

Matthew 6:7–8: “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. "

Don't be like those who do not understand God as a good Father and try to use words to manipulate him to get what they want. As if he is fooled by our clever ways of speaking. Know that you have a good Father and a good Father who knows what you need.

As we meditate on the truth that we have a good Father who knows what we need (and even cares that we need it!) our God creates peace from the war within us. We don't need to fight for what we think we need when we know the Father gives what we really need.

On Being Present

John 20:21: Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”

There is a reason that we decided to plant our lives among a certain group of people in a neighborhood. 

To be present.

At first it was about being "strategic," but that wore off pretty quickly. It is hard to be present. Really hard. It demands vulnerability. It demands being open even when I don't feel like being open. 

So "strategy" is slowly being reformed into "commitment." Commitment to people. Commitment to a place. Being rooted. Being present... and all of the joys and struggles that come with that.

I am ever-so-slowly beginning to understand why God wanted to come in the flesh. Yes, there was "strategy" in that Jesus came to live among us, eat our food, and be around the dinner table, but there was much more than just that. Jesus was sent to be present. Being present mean more than just "showing up." It means to be...how do I word this..."heart involved." All in. Committed to people.

Jesus came to demonstrate to us how God's heart is to be committed to relationship. That meant being there in the mundane and being there in the exciting.

Though I have so much to learn- and so often find how I just want to do my own thing rather than being connected to people- the truth is that the more we understand the heart of Jesus to be present with us, the more that we ourselves will want to be present with him and with those around us.

Even those who might drive us crazy or want to drive us out of their lives.

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
―C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Simple Church

Simple: plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation.

Picture something with me. Are you ready? Don't close your eyes because you won't be able to read on :)

Picture a pure stream coming off of a mountain. It is fed by melted snow and freshly fallen rain.

As it flows down, it picks up...stuff. All kinds of stuff. Dirt. Small pieces of rocks. Leaves. Animal, uh, leftovers.

As it flows down, it seems less clean. Probably something you don't want to drink. You might feel it later if you do drink it.

But, here is the thing, the water is still pure.

You might say "hmmm, Wes, you don't know what ‘pure’ means.” You might be right, but this is what I mean: the water itself is still pure. The H20 is still there, just mixed up with junk that isn't water.

Mixed in with all of the mess is the life-giving, pure water we thirst for.

The Church* is like that water. Two millennia have passed since the Spirit started his movement we call the Church (see Acts 2), the purity of what He is making is often mingled with sin-saturated selfishness. We muddy the waters with our desire for power, money, and prestige...all in Jesus' name. It becomes a muddy, undrinkable mess that many around us don't want to drink.

But, in the midst of the mess is the beauty of the Church Jesus died for. Simple. Pure. Uncomplicated.

My heart's desire is to explore who we (the Church) really are. What is pure, simple, and uncomplicated in Jesus' eyes. A Jesus-shaped, life-giving community that our friends and neighbors thirst for.

*The Church is all of the people who have trusted Jesus over all time, in every place and our church are one, local expression of the group that Jesus has set his heart on.

"Why This Waste?!"

And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” Matthew 26:8

I didn't realize the the disciples were so practical. In this scene a woman is pouring our expensive essential oils [sorry] on Jesus to honor him. Where she got it, we don't know, but we do know what the disciples thought of it: they thought she was wasteful. "It could go to a better purpose like...I don't know...the poor!" They were angry which, for some reason, surprises me.

To them it seemed like a waste, but to Jesus it was good, meaningful, appropriate. The ointment would have a practical purpose (to prepare Jesus for his burial) but, it had time to wear off. That must mean that the practical wasn't the main point.

The heart of the matter was the heart of the woman: she loved Jesus and would "waste" what was valuable to her to honor him.

For similar reasons we pray. We pray when we could act "practically" instead of waiting patiently ("This could have been sold...and given to the poor"). We pray when it seems like a waste of time, spiritual resources, and heart.

We pray because Jesus is worth "wasting" our effort on. He is honored when we pour ourselves out. He is pleased when we are bold enough to try.

We Do What We Believe

Matthew 16:23: But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

I woke up this morning without a thought about what today represents. My “I will never forget” got lost in the checking off the “to-do” list of a typical Saturday morning. But, I do remember that Tuesday morning 20 years ago. I remember opening up my computer at home (when I should have been in class) and doing a double take at what I was reading in the news. Unreal. It was too big to take in. I remember asking the questions “What happened?” and “why did this happen?” and “who did this?” and “why did they do this?”

We know a little something about those people now. Though they have done nothing that should make us want to honor their memory, learning about their motivations might teach us something about ourselves.

We know that the people who hijacked the planes had a belief. We all have beliefs.

Though many of those men espoused the same religion, there was a force at work in them that was even deeper than the theology they followed. It is that same age-old search for power, honor, and meaning that will often drive people to be extreme: extremely short sighted and extremely unrealistic. Idealistic, but unloving. Intelligent, but unwise. And, by all accounts, merciless.

They spent their lives to destroy other’s lives.

Again, I do not want to honor their memory. Far from it. What I want to do is make the point that what we believe overflows into what we do. This is not merely about right doctrine. It is primarily about what- or better yet “who”- we rely on. 

What we set our heart on and who we rely on will shape the path of life we will live.

Just before Jesus rebuked Peter (above), Peter had boldly stated that Jesus is the Messiah. Jesus’ response was one of joy: “You are blessed Peter! You couldn’t know that yourself. The Father had to reveal that to you!” (My paraphrase) But, Peter still had other heart beliefs: the Messiah shouldn’t suffer. The Messiah can’t die.

Peter still didn’t “get” Jesus. Jesus had to push back on Peter so that Peter would no longer act out of his misguided beliefs. Peter, at that point, was will to act in similar ways to the men who hijacked those planes. He would fight for a cause- a noble cause to be sure!- but he would miss the heart of what Jesus wanted to do. Jesus did not come to instill fear in people that they might cower before his kingship, but to sacrifice his own power and honor that people might find meaning in him.

Jesus had to change Peter’s understanding of Himself so that Peter would follow Jesus’ way and not his own.

So that leaves us with a question to ponder: if it is true that we do what we believe, then what does authentic, mercy-filled faith…confidence…reliance…trust…belief in Jesus look like in real life? 

Join us as we gather tomorrow night and live out our faith in Jesus together, exploring what it means to simply trust the Suffering Servant whose own belief moved him to spend his life for those who live in fear AND (shockingly) those who cause the fear that we all might not live in terror, but in a full hearted trust.

"Cain't Nobody Tell Me Nothing"*

I walked into our living room yesterday morning and on the television is the Kidz Bop version of Old Town Road. Ugh. I've heard it too many times.

If you aren't familiar with the original, it is a creative song with an easy-to-get-into beat, and lyrics that no 9 year old should be memorizing by singing it. The Kidz Bop version keeps the beat and drops the sketchy words.

The chorus goes something like this:
Can't nobody tell me nothing, You can't tell me nothing
Can't nobody tell me nothing, You can't tell me nothing
(The country-fied twang changes "Can't" to "Cain't")

It isn't just the beat that is east to get into...its how close to our hearts the chorus gets. We don't have to be taught that attitude. It comes naturally, by default.

I read a tweet from a dad yesterday that expressed the human nature he sees in his son: "I love listening to my 16 year old playing the drums in the garage…do I need to go tell him to stop to make sure he keeps playing?"

We don't like being told what to do. Right or wrong, good or destructive, we want to do what we want to do.

Our king has a law. That is his right. He gets to tell us what’s good... and what we can do. But as a good Americans we push back on that. Maybe it isn't even about being an American. Maybe it is about being a human. We push back, even if what we push back on might be good for us.

We respond to the command as if our Father isn't loving merely because it is a command.

But what if what our God commands is also good for us? What if what is behind our pushback is an assumption that what our Kingly Father decrees isn’t good for us. What if we are unwilling to even give his words a chance?

*Sorry if it is in your head now. Honestly sorry. Maybe.

By Default

The default mode of the heart of every human being is to try to earn a place at God’s table. That is what we would do if we were left to ourselves and we weren’t paying attention to our own hearts.

Strangely, that is true of every human being. Even those human beings who haven’t yet surrendered themselves to trusting Jesus. Even those human beings who deny that there is a God who lovingly made them and wouldn’t give much thought to him. We have the double-minded ability to both defy God and make demands on him at the same time.

So, we human beings default to trying to work for our value and our place. We selfishly and slavishly spend our energy doing, doing, doing with the vain hope that it will earn us something…that we would finally be good enough, smart enough, and that (doggonit) someone would like us. Like us enough to give us a place at the table.

(Thanks for the wise words, Mr. Smalley)

So the clear commands of scripture seem to be the pathway to being accepted by God. If we do them, keep working, keep striving, keep sacrificing, then eventually we will have done enough to either earn a place at the table or be able to demand one. We become a human doing rather than the human being, defined by our actions and easily forgetting that God has bigger and deeper desires for us.

He is not primarily looking at the scope of our works the but the state of our hearts. He knows that all we do flows out of all of who we are, so he goes after our hearts. If he transforms our hearts to be like His Son’s heart then what will naturally follow (by default) is the kind of life his Son lived (lives!)

We are invited to trust the Father so our default more would be like the Son’s. The default mode of Jesus’ heart, always loving, and always knowing we are Beloved by the Father like he is.

"Living My Truth"

“Wes, Do you just WANT to believe?”

Sometimes I am startled at how different our not-yet-believing friends think than we do. Honestly, I don’t want to admit the difference. It is a lot of work to understand how another person perceives the world.

And work makes me tired.

Sitting outside of a fast food restaurant with my friend, he decided to drop the politeness and share what he really thinks about my trust in Jesus though one simple question. Essentially, he was asking “Wes, don’t you think you are just lying to yourself so that you don’t have to deal with the realities of life? Don’t you think you just want this Jesus stuff so badly that you have convinced yourself of it…even if it isn’t true?”

Sounds more like a statement than a question, right?

He hit on something we all tend to do: lie to ourselves. Find convenient lies that make us feel better about doing our selfish desires. But, those lies never hold up. Even if we push the truth deep down and ignore it, like that pea under all of those mattresses the princess slept on, it makes us anxious…keeps us squirming until we acknowledge it.

These kinds of lies are common to all people. Common and convenient. They are also corrosive to our soul that we are trying to protect.

My friend asked me a question. So I decided to answer him. (I don’t think he really wanted the answer, but he asked!) I said to him “Yes, I WANT to believe! I want to believe that Jesus is the truth. But, my desire has nothing to do with the Truth. Just because I want something to be a certain way it doesn’t mean that it actually is that way.”

Then I said the thing I hope is a “pea” to him: “Jesus is the Truth whether I want him to be or not, whether I like it or not. It is because he is the Ultimate Reality that I want my desires to get on board with him.” (Something like that, anyway. Probably goofier than that.)

James 1:16 starts with the phrase “Do not be deceived…” The Spirit is calling out to us through God’s word to pay attention to our desires that might lead us to lie to ourselves. But more than that, the Spirit is drawing us closer to Jesus so that we might be willing to have our corrosive lies exposed…so that we might find freedom in loving the Truth.